On Being Facebook Friends

I deleted over half my Facebook friends last night, and have never felt so much relief in my life. I really don't like the way that social networking sites have changed who is and isn't our "friend". Instead of a friend being a person that you actually know on a personal and intimate level, it is literally anybody.

You talked to somebody for six minutes after your theater class? FRIEND.

Your roommate's boy/girlfriend? FRIEND.

The person with whom you had a drunken conversation at that one party that one time? FRIEND.

No.  These people are not your "friends", and they're probably not even acquaintances.  They're borderline strangers.  Next time you're about to approve a friend request for someone you've known for less than a week, ask yourself this question: Would you tell this person all of the things that you have posted on your Facebook profile in real life? Would you tell them who all of the members of your family are?  Would you tell them about that article you just read, and (OMG) how good it was?  Would you want them to see the vengeful and manipulative comment your mom left on your status? Would you want them to see how gross you looked at the beach that one day?  Would you tell them about each and every person you've ever dated?  Because they can know about all of this (and more) about 20 minutes after you click "accept."

Another thing that Facebook has changed is our inability to let friendships die.  Five years ago, if you had a friend that you didn't really want to be friends with anymore, you weren't friends with them anymore.  And that was just fine!  What are the chances that you'll run into the girl you had a crush on in seventh grade? And, if you do, how much fun would it be to catch up with them?  Wouldn't that be so much fun?  I'm getting excited just thinking about it!  Ever further, if you found out that they'd turned out to be some degenerate drug addict, it wouldn't matter because you could choose not to see them ever again!

With Facebook, that isn't possible.  People that "we used to know" don't exist, because we still know everybody!  We know what everybody has been up to without even having to ask!  I'm not saying that this can't be really convenient, because it certainly can.  However, it's really only convenient if you actually want to know what everybody's been doing since high school.  If you don't actually care about half the things you have to read on your news feed (and I know I don't), then it's essentially the same as people announcing their business at random, completely unsolicited.  What if that happened in real life?  What if you were sitting in class trying to listen to your friend talk about something that genuinely interests you, and everybody started yelling out what's on their minds?  This is what using social networking sites is like for me, and I am just as annoyed with it as I would be if people started yelling out how much they LOOOOOOOOOOVE THEIR BOYFRIENDDDDD(!!!11) every ten minutes.

I'm not buying into it anymore.  I'm okay with denying requests, deleting photos, and letting some friendships die.  If playing the social networking game means granting every person I meet unrestricted access to the details of my life, then I quit.

Marching On

We put one foot in front of the other

We move like we ain't got no other

We go where we go, we're marching on

The Do's And Don'ts Of Being My Roommate

Having a roommate is difficult for many reasons.  Maybe your roommate doesn't speak English, maybe they're a nudist, or maybe they're just clinically insane.  Sharing a room with a complete stranger can be really uncomfortable, so I have composed this list of things you should and shouldn't do in order to make living with you as comfortable as possible for the both of us.


- DO have charisma, personality, and most importantly, character.
I like to know that I am living with a person, and not a robot.  With that in mind, try to remember that, as a person, you are expected to be aware, to be courteous, and to be interested in self-improvement.  If these things don't interest you, you need not apply.


- DON'T try to finish my sentences.
I understand that you may be capable of figuring out what I'm going to say as I'm in the process of saying it, and that can be a very beneficial skill; however, saying the last few words of my sentences as I'm trying to say them will confuse and frustrate me, and is best avoided.


- DO be interested in similar things as myself.
Sharing similar interests will be very beneficial to our relationship.  It means that we can have a Star Wars marathon while wearing my RootSuits and playing Scrabble.


- DON'T use my things without first asking me. 
I understand if you need to trim your nails -- I have that need as well from time to time. However, asking to use them as opposed to using them at your own discretion is very much appreciated.  Additionally, please put them back where you found them -- I shouldn't have to go on a scavenger hunt to find my own things.


- DO keep media at a reasonable level when I am trying to study.
Pretty self-explanatory.


- DON'T leave my DVDs out.
I fully consent to you watching my DVDs at your own discretion; however, with that power comes some responsibility.  I keep my DVD collection organized alphabetically and I would appreciate if you would do your best to put them back in the order which you found them.  If Transformers accidentally ends up between Toy Story and Toy Story 3, it isn't that big of a deal. However, (and I cannot stress this enough) if I find that one of my discs is anywhere but in the case or in the DVD player, I. Will. Rage.  I have worked hard to build my collection and I don't think expecting you to respect my DVDs is unreasonable.


- DO set a timer for the TV if you choose to watch something before going to sleep.
If I have to wake up to the sound of The 40-Year-Old Virgin's main menu looping endlessly, I will remove your Xbox 360's hard drive.


- DON'T be naked.
Exceptions to this rule are if you just got out of the shower or if you are changing.  In any case, try to keep it as short as possible.  I don't show you mine, and I would appreciate you not showing me yours.


- DO warn me of impending flatulence.
I see this as being a common courtesy. If we are in a vehicle, simply rolling down the window will suffice.  My own gas makes me uncomfortable, and other peoples' is only worse.


- DON'T sleep in/on my bed for any reason.
I mean it.


- DO clean up after yourself.
I am not your maid, your girlfriend, or your mother.  If something is left in what I deem to be an unacceptable condition, I will let you know about it; if it is left that way for more than 24 hours after that, I will clean up whatever it is and leave it in a pile on your bed.  Consider yourself warned.
Example:
If you pee on the rim of the toilet bowl, please wipe it up.  It happens -- I get it. However, because I grew up with my mother and two sisters, I learned to leave the toilet seat down when I pee, thus my urine does not come into contact with the rim of the toilet bowl:

The clock's ticking. ;)